Make the hurt stop, please!

So Cruz and I have always loved animals and over the 15 years together we have given loving homes to 14 dogs and two cats. All of them except three dogs and the cats have been rescues. Here are their stories and why I am asking for the hurt to be stopped.

I move in with Cruz in October 2001 bringing with me two cats Little Bit and Mammas and Cruz already had Daisymae a Dachshund/Chihuahua mix who he had had for 12 years already. These were the only babies we had until August 2005 when Stitch was born under our house, under my room, under my bed. His mother was the neighbors dog that really wanted to be my dog, hence her having 9 babies under our house. I got the pick of the litter.

In January 2006 our Buddy arrived in the neighborhood nasty and filthy needing a home and to be loved. Cruz named him Buddy because he quickly became Stitch’s buddy. In the summer of 2006 we had a little red puppy showed up needing to be loved and we named him Clifford. We did not know this, but Clifford was very sick and he was only with us for one week. I think heartworms because he died a very and painful death in my bed next to me.

In September 2007 we had to put Daisymae to sleep due to old age she was almost 20 human years old. A few months later we adopted an adorable little Dachshund/Chihuahua mix named Tippy. Come to find out Tippy was born two days after our Daisymae passed. She truly was born to come to our home.

In April 2009 I was out of town for my nieces wedding and I get a call from Cruz and he says “Have I got a surprise for you when you come home.” I was like what have you done? he had found a full blooded old man Dachshund outside of our restaurant we went to all the time. We named him Stretchie and he was with for almost two years until his tumor that was in operable prompted to send him Over the Rainbow Bridge right after Christmas in 2011.

In 2010 Sissy showed up in the neighborhood looking for a loving home. She really liked Cruz more and would never let me touch her. I told Cruz that if she ever let me hold her then that was it she would become part of our family. In May while I was on leave for hernia surgery Sissy decided to come up to me roll over on her back and let me rub her belly. I picked her up and took her in the house and put her in bed with Cruz. In August 2010 Missy who is our Supermodel of the world showed up and was living behind the gates of the church across the street. We began feeding her and she really liked me. I was playing with her and I was able to hold her in my and she was loving on, so she became part of our family.

In October 2011 a stray that Cruz had been feeding next door had a very large litter. The mother and all but of her puppies were picked up. So we brought in the lone puppy and we could never imagined how big she would be. Her name is Crissy after Christmas because we brought her in in December.

In July of 2012 our Missy became pregnant by either Stitch, Buddy or both. In late September she gave birth, in my bed right next to me, to a baby boy and a baby girl. We were planning to keep them but as they were growing we fell in love them. They became Fluffy and Little Bitty.

In March 2014 very early in my sobriety Cruz was picking me up from an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting when he saw this tiny little dog almost get hit by a bus. We brought Minnie (Doodle) home and loved for a little over two years. In July 2015 our Zailey showed up. She waltzed into the house and announced “I don’t care what you think, I am coming in and being part of your family.”  Of course I previously posted about Patty showing up on my mother Patricia’s birthday.

Why do tell you all of this? well since October 2015 we had 10 dogs. It seemed that all was fine with pack until January 4th when there was a pack attack on Tippy and she passed. Not long after that our Buddy was brutally attacked and he left us on 1/20. We continued to have aggression issues and on 2/6 we made the conscious decision to put Fluffy to sleep for the safety of the rest of the pack. On April 18th our littlest baby Minnie (Doodle) went to heaven due to age and failing health. Our Patty had recently begun jumping the fence and we were trying to find ways to correct this behavior. Last Friday 5/27 as I was walking home I found my Patty dead in the street. He had been hit, but not run over so I think he went quickly.

I am tired of all this pain, hurt and anger. I want the loss to stop in its tracks!