SoCS – 3/12/16 | Ball

This post is part of SoCS

So here is the thing I can have a ball doing a lot of things. One of things that I have a ball doing is going into my office on Saturdays when there is no one there and being able to get so much work done without any distractions.

Cruz and I have had many dogs over the years and we have such a hard time getting them to play fetch with a ball or their ropes or anything. Until now, my toddler who I had previously introduced to you all in the post One Liner Wednesday | Patty is His Name Oh!!!!!.


This toddler while harass us for our to play fetch with a ball, rope or any other toy!!! WE LOVE IT!!!!!!

The one thing that I have a ball doing the most is having fun and making my friends and colleagues laugh off their keesters!



Slightly late #SoCS & #JusJoJan |What?

This post is part of Linda G. Hill’s #SoCS and #JusJoJan

What was it about alcohol and cocaine that drew me to it? Almost two years into RECOVERY from alcoholism and cocaine addiction, I often ask myself this question.

Now I know part of it was my suffering from being bipolar and constantly fighting depression not necessarily associated with my being bipolar. I also know now that even though I put up an awesome front regarding  my own self esteem – I truly had none.

But today after all of the soul searching, all the crying, all the prayers, and all the love and support of my awesome family and friends – SPECIFICALLY my husband of almost 15 years Cruzer – THE PROMISES CONTINUE TO COME TRUE FOR ME!!!!

So happy to be SOBER and CLEAN just for this ONE 24 HOUR PERIOD!!!



SoCS | Late but STILL Particpating!!!


This post is part of Linda G. Hill’s Stream of Consciousness Saturday.

“Still” what a fun little four letter word. I can be still and do nothing, say nothing, or worse – write nothing. I still have a passion to write. Yet since returning to my beloved University of Texas at San Antonio on July 1st, I thought for sure by now I would be in a great place to begin writing again, I still find myself exhausted and unable to find that energy and drive to write. How do my fellow writers still find the energy and drive. Some of you are my idols specifically Linda G. Hill who writes EVERYDAY, sometimes twice a day. I love that.

You see my blog is titled “What’s Rattling My Cage!” and right now there is so much that has been rattling my cage. We still have the carnival show of Donald Trump, Dr. Ben Carson and the rest of the Republican nominees hoping to still have their names still in the pot come next summer after the primaries are done in time for the Republican Convention. We can not forget to mention the much smaller field of Democratic nominees of Hillary Rodham Clinton, Bernie Sanders and three others that to me really did stand still in the first Democratic Presidential Debate.

Of course there is still the never ending battle to end all forms of INEQUALITY in this great country of ours. There will only be one way that inequality will go away, and it will take a much larger fight, The wording of the second paragraph of The Declaration of Independence of the United States says the following:

“We hold these Truths to be self-evident, that all Men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty, and the pursuit of happiness—That to secure these Rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just Powers from the Consent of the Governed, that whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Government, laying its Foundation on such Principles, and organizing its Powers in such Form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Safety and happiness.”

Because our politicians lean so heavily on the United States Constitution, as they still should. We have to be able to look at both documents and find a way to say bring them both into the 21st Century and beyond. The authors of the Declaration of Independence and the Framers of the Constitution could never have IMAGINED that their budding fledgling country would STILL be in existence 239 years later with all of the illnesses and wars that went on. Yet we are STILL here and that first line in the second paragraph of the Declaration must be amended to reflect that ALL HUMAN CITIZENS are CREATED EQUAL!! This may mean that an Amendment to the Constitution will also have to be done. That will never happen because this country was founded and has been run by WHITE PROTESTANT/QUAKER MEN regardless of the amount of women and minorities that are in the House and Senate. Still, Just saying!!!

One other major problem that is still rattling my cage is all of this gun violence happening across our country and that will be a whole other post. Maybe I will be able to get to it this afternoon!!

Yes I am still a very proud 49 year old homosexual, still THRIVING not just SURVIVING with HIV/AIDS for 18 1/2 years. Yes my partner and I survived my freaking hell of alcohol and cocaine addiction and we are still building on my continued growth. Yes I am STILL SOBER and CLEAN, in fact 1 year 8 months. Yes I am STILL finding people across campus that tell me, I am so glad you are back because you know how to do the job right. The only thing that has changed is that my mother in HEAVEN sent Cruz and me a 10th dog on her birthday October 6th. We are still determining what we are going to do with him. He seems to be a Pure Bred Australian Cattle Dog. He is at most 1 1/2 years old. He is just so playful and loving as can be. Whoever had him taught huggins and kisses because he loves to do both. But, he is a tearer upper – which may be why they got rid of him. There are STILL idiots who take home dogs and have no idea how to care and love them!!!


SoCS | Are we ready for a very di”vis”ive 2016 election cycle?

Badge by: Doobster @ Mindful Digressions
Badge by: Doobster @ Mindful Digressions

This post as part of Linda G. Hill’s Stream of Consciousness Saturday!

Today I was reading a six page spread of an interview with Former Presidents George W. Bush and Bill Clinton and there is a great quote from Bill Clinton:

“People don’t like negative, divisive environments. But they frequently reward them in elections.”

The national circus that will have international consequences is well under way. That circus is the 2016 presidential election cycle and boy do we have enough clowns in both the Republican and Democratic parties to keep the divisiveness going all the way to election day on November 8, 2016.

 In the event you do know who is running for the Republican nomination, they are Jeb Bush, Ben Carson, Chris Christie, Ted Cruz, Carly Fiorini, Lyndsey Graham, Mike Huckabee, Bobby Jindal, John Kasich, George Pataki, Rand Paul, Rick Perry, Marco Rubio, Rick Santorum, Donald Trump, and Scott Walker, Sixteen clowns in the Republican party.

In the Democratic field we have a much smaller field today, however that could grow. The Democrats running are Lincoln Chafee, Hillary Rodham Clinton, Martin O’Malley, Bernie Sanders – an Independent running as a Democrat and Jim Webb

I actually find it very amusing to see how many Republicans want to hold the office of President. Some of the candidates have barreled out of the gates with verbal diarrhea. We all know that Donald Trump is so abrasive and so dangerously divisive that it is amazing to see the approval ratings that he is getting.

My most divisive problem I currently have is that I do not want to see a Bush/Clinton running for this office. Haven’t we had enough of the Bushes and the Clintons since 1980. The other issues that are extremely divisive yet so very important are equality rights for all Americans, the minimum wage issue, global warming, dialing back the government, placing stronger accountability measures for the entitlement programs on both the recipients part and the individuals responsible for these programs, and the most important and divisive issue at hand will always be the security and safety of the American people.

As we move along you will see more posts from me. The most important thing that I can say at the end of this post is I DO NOT CARE WHO YOU VOTE FOR, JUST MAKE SURE THAT YOU ARE DOING YOUR PART IN THE PRIMARIES AND THE GENERAL ELECTION!!!

Until next time, that’s “What’s Rattling My Cage!”

SoCS | Am I too FREE with my Information??

This post is part of Linda G. Hill’s Stream of Consciousness Saturday!!

If you have ever read any of my posts then you are well aware that I am not afraid to discuss information about my recovery from alcoholism and addiction to cocaine. I am also not afraid to talk about information regarding my recent clinical diagnosis of bipolar depressive disorder. I am definitely not afraid to give information about my living with HIV/AIDS since January 1997. Finally I can not give you enough information about my being a very proud gay man who knew at the age of 6 that he was different.

I have been told my entire adult life, don’t give more information than you have too. Give just enough information to get you by. That information is nobody’s business why are you telling on yourself? If you share that information you are going to get your ass kicked because people hate fags and they definitely hate fags with HIV/AIDS. People really do not like individuals that are alcoholic or cocaine addicts because they will never trust you to do the right thing, do not share that information. Never share any of this information with your employer and especially never share the information with prospective employers.

This is what I say – SCREW THAT!!! I have to be honest and share that information and unfortunately there is information about me that stinks – I AM NOT NOR HAVE I EVER BEEN PERFECT!!!!! But guess what, that is information that I AM EXTREMELY PROUD OF!!!! Why because the only way to rid the world of ignorance and get them talking about gay men with HIV/AIDS, Alcoholism/Addiction/, mental diseases such as bipolar depression, and whatever else I have lived in my life is by getting people involved in the CONVERSATION OPENLY!!!!!! 

So until next time, that’s What’s Rattling My Cage!!”


Badge by: Doobster @ Mindful Digressions

BATZAP/SoCS| “V” is for Vary/Very as in “Recently my Emotions Vary and are Very …”

This post is part of Blogging from A to Z April 2015 Challenge and Stream of Consciousness Saturday.

Recently with my mother-in-law still in the hospital; my being unemployed again; watching my poor husband deal with his emotions internally over his mother’s illness; both of us suffering from extreme exhaustion; and this being the first major tough life incident since the start of my recovery from alcoholism/addiction to cocaine and I am dealing with it SOBER and CLEAN, my emotions continue to vary and depending on the emotion they can be very minimal or very extreme.

Another short one, so until next time, that’s “What’s Rattling My Cage!”

socs-badge      V
          SoCS  Badge created by Doobster418 at MindfulDigressions