If I Have Gay Children: Four Promises From A Christian Pastor/Parent

This post was so well written and is so important for all individuals that are parents to read. John you really hit home for me because I am a 48 year old gay man that has spent his entire life wanting nothing more than for my father to love me for who I am and who I have become. Not because I am gay, but because I have turned into one hell of a fantastic human being in spite of the fact that I was never loved nor accepted by my father, and still faced all of the stigmas of being gay. My mother rest her soul, passed away on Mother’s Day in 1998 a little over a year after I found out that due to poor decisions in my early/late 20’s I had contracted HIV. But I was so truly blessed from the time that I cam out to my mother and my sisters at the age of 17, to be given nothing but all the love and support that a child could ever ask for.

You see I knew at the age of 6 that I was different and never really put a name to it. I know as a child neither of my parents particularly wanted a boy, I guess – I to this day don’t know why. I was never the rough and tumble boy, I don’t necessarily recall being very clingy to my mother either. I just knew. I applaud you for writing those four very important things that your children should know in the event that they are gay. God does not make mistakes and I like you find it amazing when so called Christians start thumping their Bibles and spewing verses from the Old Testament, and so clearly forget the loving words that my Lord and Savior  Jesus Christ states in John 3:16 “For God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten son, that WHOSOEVER believeth in Him shall not perish but shall have ever lasting life.” I am a Catholic and I am a God fearing man, but I am also a gay man that was made by my God’s hands!!!

john pavlovitz


Sometimes I wonder if I’ll have gay children.

I’m not sure if other parents think about this, but I do; quite often.

Maybe it’s because I have many gay people in my family and circle of friends. It’s in my genes and in my tribe.
Maybe it’s because, as a pastor of students, I’ve seen and heard the horror stories of gay Christian kids, from both inside and outside of the closet, trying to be part of the Church.
Maybe it’s because, as a Christian, I interact with so many people who find homosexuality to be the most repulsive thing imaginable, and who make that abundantly clear at every conceivable opportunity.

For whatever reason, it’s something that I ponder frequently. As a pastor and a parent, I wanted to make some promises to you, and to my two kids right now…

1) If I have gay children, you’ll all know it.

My children won’t…

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